THE DEATH PIZZA EATING CHALLENGE

You think you know hot? Oh honey. This is your warning: we are on a whole new level here. And should you choose to test our resolve in this matter, you will be looking at an outcome that will have a finality that is beyond your comprehension. And you will not be counting the days or the months or the years, but millenniums, in a place with no doors.

Each single ounce of this pizza has been engineered to make you question every decision that led you to this moment. The foundation of any great pizza is the dough, and that's where we started your eventual demise. Just picking up this pizza is going to start a chain reaction when your fingers start absorbing capsaicin through your skin. Whatever you do, don't rub your eyes! The "sauce" — and we use that term loosely — is a straight-up crime against your taste buds. And you think it's made with tomatoes! HA HA HA! Maybe you're thinking that cheese looks innocent. You'll realize that too was a mistake when your eyes start to water, your nose starts to run, and your soul briefly leaves your body from the steam rising up off this pizza before you even take a bite. We highly recommend you bring some goggles and gloves, a bib and a friend to help you off stage and get you to a nearby urgent care facility.

We double dog dare ya! We didn't come here to play games.

Actually — we absolutely came here to play games. The most delicious, most painful, most spectacular game you've ever seen played on a stage in front of hundreds of people who are absolutely going to film the whole thing and post it everywhere. That's right, your Aunt Clara is going to see you dry heaving on YouTube and show that at every family birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner if you lose. If you survive this, your unborn children will be taunted by THEIR classmates on how big of a loser their dad/mom is. So put on your game face and get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.

Saturday AND Sunday. 3PM. Main Stage. Both days.

Three contestants drawn live each day. Six total warriors across the weekend. Pre-registration happens inside our festival app — pick the day(s) you'll be at the festival, sign the waiver, you're in the drawing pool. That's right, we give you the opportunity to back out if you and your buddies signed up while you were drunk at your dart league. You must be 18+ and have at least some will to live — though we admire people who are on the fence about that last part.

The crowd will be massive. Your friends will be filming. Strangers will be filming. Hell, WE will be filming. For legal purposes obviously, but also to make sure your shame is on the internet until the end of time. Your dignity is entirely optional and frankly kind of gets in the way.

To everyone who doesn't get drawn on Saturday — don't you dare think about sneaking out the back. We see you. We know what you signed up for. We will be looking for you Sunday. The list doesn't disappear just because Saturday did.

And to the person who's been reading this with that little smile on their face, thinking "maybe..." — we're even willing to create a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat —

WE TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!! 🌶️🌶️🌶️